A Theory of Words
by merlinsearlobe
Summary: 1976. Sixth Year. Sirius seems to harbour feelings for James that go beyond friendship. However, when it becomes clear that James' attentions are firmly fixed on Lily Evans, Sirius turns to Remus.


1976\. Sixth Year. Sirius seems to harbour feelings for James that go beyond friendship. However, when it becomes clear that James' attentions are firmly fixed on Lily Evans, Sirius turns to Remus.

* * *

 **oOo**

James said something in a low voice, then looked up, grinning, to meet his co-conspirator's eyes. The two were closer than ever after the summer; Sirius Sirius had finally left Grimmauld Place and moved in with the Potters. Sirius smirked right back, and leaned in, added something else that Remus couldn't quite hear. James laughed, and so did Sirius, teeth catching the light. Remus smiled, shaking his head a little as he returned to his essay.

"Remus," Peter said. "What was the third pitfall when casting _aguamenti_? I've got the first two, I think."

Remus pulled Peter's parchment across the table and scanned what he had already written. "Errant contamination." He slid Peter's essay back.

"Oh, yeah! Thanks."

Remus bent over his own parchment again, but the exchange had caught the attention of the two dark-haired boys.

"Isn't that due next week, Moony?" James grinned.

"Yeah, it is," Sirius agreed, looping an arm round James' neck. "You need to stop showing us up, Prefect. I think you made your point with OWLs last year. What should we do about him, Prongs?"

Remus smiled. But James suddenly looked distracted, and Remus didn't needed to turn around to know who had just come in through the portrait hole, especially when the Gryffindor Seeker's hand jumped to his hair. Remus glanced at Sirius; there was definitely a look of disappointment in those grey eyes.

"Evans," James called out. "Hey, Evans..."

Sirius scowled and left James on the sofa to sprawl out on the rug next to Remus. A few seconds later, James rose and bounded across the room, no doubt going after Lily. Sirius said something under his breath.

"What's that, Pads?"

"Nothing." Sirius leaned on Remus' left shoulder and read his essay for a bit, though Remus soon felt his gaze move away to James. "Want to have a fly around, Moony?"

Remus finished the sentence he was writing before pausing to consider Sirius' proposition. Sirius was looking dejected again, examining James and Lily who were across the room near the armchairs. "Sure," said Remus. He began packing his things away. "C'mon, then."

Sirius snapped his gaze back to Remus, looking delighted. "Really? Fantastic." He leapt to his feet and, when Remus had packed, dragged him swiftly out of the common room after one more backward glance at James.

* * *

 **oOo**

Lately, as James seemed to gain some ground with Lily, Remus had noticed Sirius looking at him more and more. He was getting a slightly uneasy feeling in his stomach. He had seen a similar look many times in those grey eyes: the look Sirius got when he had settled upon some particular prank and was determined to carry it through.

Which was likely why, days later, he thought it _was_ just another prank when Sirius walked him back against the wall and leaned close. James and Peter and the others had all gone to Hogsmeade, but Sirius had volunteered to stay behind with Remus, who was still feeling peaky from the recent full moon.

Remus raised his eyebrows, but when Sirius slowly cupped his face in his hands, Remus' smile faded.

"Pads?"

"I like you," Sirius said. Those beautiful grey eyes were flickering between Remus' eyes and mouth.

Remus' stomach turned over. He was certain Sirius had had his eye on James these past few weeks.

Sirius leaned in slowly for a tentative kiss. Remus let his eyes close. He did not return the kiss, but he didn't push him away. He opened his eyes when Sirius drew back and found him licking his lips, grey eyes darker.

How many times had he watched Sirius watch James? How many times seen the disappointment on his face?

He felt these kisses were not intended for him.

But when Sirius kissed him again, he didn't stop him, and this time he kissed back, heart caught somewhere between hope and loss. Sirius was smiling now, encouraging Remus' affection, making those little sounds in his throat that Remus had walked in on in the past. There was no harm, he thought to himself, in this pretense. Sirius loved deeply and often, and he, Remus, could not be loved. He would take this over nothing.

Just when he thought he had convinced himself, he found himself stilling Sirius, gripping his chin, running his thumb just below his lower lip. "You know who I am."

Sirius caught his thumb between his lips and sucked on it, slowly, eyelids heavy over eyes clouded with the intense lust of youth. "'Course I do, Moony."

 _I'm not James_ , he wanted to say, but it went unsaid as Sirius touched him.

"Want to taste you," Sirius murmured. He was kissing down Remus' neck, and kneeling now, rubbing his cheek over Remus' crotch. Remus shut his eyes and tipped his head back and let Sirius unbutton him, fingertips brushing the skin of his lower abdomen, breath hot and close. Then Sirius' hand was on his cock, lifting it out, stroking him. Sirius did taste him. Remus felt nothing then but the slick heat of his mouth, his world narrowed to this, to Sirius on his knees before him and the euphoric sensation in his chest.

He did not think it would be empty, later, after. In this moment he couldn't fathom it.

"Sirius," he gasped, and later, Sirius said his name.

* * *

 **oOo**

Weeks later, he said it.

"You're not," Sirius agreed.

"I never was James," he added.

"You never were," said Sirius, patiently.

"But you liked him, once."

"I did," said Sirius. "But I've liked many people once. You, I can like twice, or more." He winked. Sirius had a knack of turning everything to sex.

"And I never will be," Remus said, ignoring the insinuation, for now.

"Right," Sirius said. "Remus John Lupin, Prefect, duel champion, werewolf, future professor, lover extraordinaire, you. I like you."


End file.
